Log in

D4-G#4-E4-E3 [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]

[ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ]
[ archive | journal archive ]

(no subject) [Mar. 25th, 2005|12:38 pm]
[mood |indifferentindifferent]

I've just been in the slump it seems like, i can't seem to unravel from it. I've started composing again...i have these sparks of energy to accomplish it, but then it dies like a possum on the street. But hopefully with these new developments within my life, maybe i'll actually start to appreciate music once again.

I miss ellen. She definately was the one that would always make my day feel like it should mean something. I wish i could have that feeling back. I can even see it in her that she misses me also, but i knew that she wasn't happy with me. I hope she finds someone that will though...i wish i'll find someone that will though...It's a constant debate within me...should i be with a musician who can appreciate music with me at that higher level of understanding...who i can compose for and have at my side for all of my accomplishments...or should i be with someone who doesn't understand music like i do, but yet still likes it...it is a must that they like music...but i'm off and on about the actual understanding...i love the connection of being able to go to a symphony or an opera or even a jazz concert and talk about the feelings of the solos or the reason why the composer did it this way instead of that way. Maybe i'll find someone up at UNI...but i'm feeling like that's going to be a dream that might never be come real...

I don't understand why Augie students seem stuck up. I try and talk to some of them, but then they comment back to me with rude/harsh demeaning things that they can't say since they don't know me. I'm starting to feel that no one really knows me...i don't even know me...

I went to the district last night with some friends and i felt so out of place. I want to have fun and drink and be a normal college student, and i can do that here at my townhouse, but whenever i go anywhere else, i crawl into my shell and never leave until everyone is ready to go...

This seems like a pretty down entry, i don't mean it be like that...

The play is going well, we started having costumes a couple days ago, i have green tights, it's rather funny...the capes keep choking me, but i'll deal with it...we had most of the platforms last night...we should have all of the them next week...it's going to be awesome...i hope people will come and see it, it's an awesome play, you'll like it.

Things To Do:
1) Compose more (especially get brenda's music out to her)
2) Apply to UNI
3) Find a girlfriend (any one interested??)
link3 comments|post comment

(no subject) [Mar. 22nd, 2005|04:07 pm]
I get to graduate (dance) I get to graduate (dance)...i'm not sure how that happened but I get to graduate (dance)...it's a bach of elected studies, but i don't care!!
link1 comment|post comment

(no subject) [Mar. 4th, 2005|06:59 pm]
just in case anyone has ever wondered...but the notes that are in that long box at the top of the screen on my page is my name spelled out within my little formula (code) that i created...it's still pretty out there and is pretty atonal...but it's an interesting little conconction that i've developed...ask me someday on how to do it...
link5 comments|post comment

(no subject) [Mar. 4th, 2005|06:56 pm]
pocket trumpet is love
brought to you by the isLove Generator

i wasn't sure what i was going to get myself into with this...but when i saw the result...i couldn't help but be amused...pocket trumpet is love...

"I have yet to find a song that describes the emotion that i feel for you right now...needless to say...it probably has something to do with an elephant and a jumprope..."
linkpost comment

wow...it's been a really long time [Feb. 26th, 2005|10:29 pm]
[mood |distresseddistressed]

hmm, hi again. How long has it been...since august...september, october, november, december, january, february...around 6 months. Since then, my life has completely changed...here goes, bear with me.

I student taught...had a really great time, i loved my students and they thought i was awesome...however, for the first couple of weeks, i was always late by a minute or two...because of that, i didn't get the grade i needed to graduate...so i am transferring to Northern Iowa next fall...all because the new director is a dick. Yeah, i apologized for my tardiness, but i was never late for class, i was always prepared, and there were times when i bailed my teacher out of a jam because he had conferences to go to, so i took his place for a couple days. There were even times that he was late...i did jazz band, two periods of lessons before he even got there...so explain that to me...i'm the one spending 8 grand to do this...why must i be punished??

So yeah, i'm transferring, i'll get my bach of composition degree up there and then go on to grad school.

Relationship wise...ellen and i started dating again...but after five months, she decides to tell me that she'll never want to marry me and breaks up with me...i never proposed and i guess she's been thinking about this ever since we got back together...then i met this girl jen right after ellen broke up with me. We spent a delightful week together, hanging out and getting to know each other...i stayed up till 5 in the morning with her because she got a flat tire...she made me dinner for my birthday in between her shifts at her 2 jobs...we kissed (but with no tongue...i thought it was a little odd)...and she tells me that she doesn't want to be in a relationship...now, why would you do these things if you didn't want to be in a relationship...why can't they tell me these things when they should...it would be easier on my heart and feelings, eh?

So now that my life has turned to shambles, there really hasn't been anything for me to cling onto to keep me with reality...friends help, but not always. I was reading my last entries and how i bitched at my townhouse...i don't even remember that anymore...i get along with all of them now, it's really cool...i just was so busy and out of place last semester i guess...anyways...who knows when i'll update again, but i'll be around again...hopefully.
link2 comments|post comment

(no subject) [Aug. 27th, 2004|10:28 am]
[mood |distresseddistressed]
[music |curtis and gwen making noises]

welp...tonight will be my first night serving by myself...wish me luck...

i've also come to realize that i'm probably not really meant for this townhouse...i'm not social like everyone else...i can't seem to jump into conversations and make stories that everyone would be interested in...so this year will be pretty fun...not
link4 comments|post comment

(no subject) [Aug. 18th, 2004|12:10 am]
[mood |ecstaticecstatic]

as of 10:56 this morning, i am now employed at bennigans...and as of 3:39 this afternoon, the countdown to two weeks at genesis commenced...by august 31, i will be released of these chains called genesis...oh how free it'll feel to be, how free...
link6 comments|post comment

10 points to whoever figures out the theme to this entry...read now!! [Aug. 14th, 2004|04:01 pm]
so tired...i just need to start school and get a new job, all will be good then...maybe throw in a girlfriend, but eh, we'll see...

Let me 'splain a few things...I hate the hospital...not like "oh, i've been in the hospital since i was five" kind of hate...but "i've been working at the hospital for over five years now" hate...the entire hospital (mind you this excludes the big wigs) lost an entire 1% off of our annual raise (doesn't sound big, but it does make a difference)...all so we can change, get this, the font style on our Logo...AND have commercials aired during the olympics...hmm, yeah, no shitting.

So kyle is now actively seeking for new employment...applications have been sent out to Bennigan's, Cheddar's, and Best Buy...Two of these places currently employ good friends of mine, which means i have a good chance, one place (bennigan's) doesn't employ anyone i know, so it would be nice to get hired there (and not for the hotel discounts that are available)...we'll see, any place than genesis...any place than genesis...

Been extremely busy, working, hanging with friends, i've over at the girls house quite a bit recently, kind of like a new home for me...(the girls house contains amber, a best friend, and emily, also a best friend, but only until recently did she move back from florida to attend ambrose...both are like sisters to me, except emily's the only one who actually looks like a sister to me, due to the redheadedness)

well, i'm exhausted, so i'm probably going to go play a little PS2 and maybe crash before i go and do my 6:30 am shift once again...i hate the hospital...

15 points to whoever can correctly guess what kind of mood i'm in using the little mood indicator...good luck!!
linkpost comment

(no subject) [Jul. 31st, 2004|11:37 pm]
[mood |happyhappy]


if you can't tell i'm excited!!
link12 comments|post comment

(no subject) [Jul. 31st, 2004|12:38 am]
wow, that was two hours i wish i had back...story begin....now!!

So i work with this guy who is a somewhat big drummer in the area (a big somewhat) and he asked me if i knew any saxophonists looking to get in a band...i said not really, maybe a few, but none that have expressed interested in doing stuff...but i said hey, if they need a reed player, i'll play...so he gave him my number and i've talked to the guy a couple times...met up with him tonight, real nice guy (way 80's rockerish lookalike)...he goes off and lists all of this stuff...some good stuff that actually has horn parts...but stuff that you would have not even thought about adding horns, which is cool...but jeez...he spent i swear two hours listing off bands and tunes that we could play...but i told him i'd do it, because i love to play (i still find it really suprising when people tell me they've heard of me, i'm like wtf, yeah right, but no they have...hmm, interesting)...so now i'm in this progressive rock, funk, blues, jazz, ska band...it shall be interesting, let's just say that...

i really need to go to bed...hmm, nothing like getting up at 5 to go the hospital for work...i really should get a new job, but only if i could get a bouncer job or a bartender without be a barbitch...we'll see...oh yes, we'll see...
linkpost comment

[ viewing | 10 entries back ]
[ go | earlier/later ]